Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (310)

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  (310): View more from California

  He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone

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  (310): He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone http://tfl.nu/3ij4
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  this study room smells like vodka

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  the study room thinks the same about you

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  (573): this study room smells like vodka (310): the study room thinks the same about you http://tfl.nu/w62g
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  but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.

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  (310): but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps. http://tfl.nu/w1cf
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  Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.

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  (310): Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you. http://tfl.nu/vvmp
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  I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.

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  (310): I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in. http://tfl.nu/n54h
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  as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'

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  (310): as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!' http://tfl.nu/csk1
  Replies (34) Good night (5781) Bad night (1042)
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  The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.

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  (310): The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit. http://tfl.nu/agun
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  He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna

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  (310): He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna http://tfl.nu/tldl
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  I think I won the penis lottery.

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  (310): I think I won the penis lottery. http://tfl.nu/0aks
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  Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on

  (1-310): View more from California

  I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his

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  (310): Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on (1-310): I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his http://tfl.nu/vdif
  Replies (30) Good night (5402) Bad night (726)
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  Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.

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  (310): Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate. http://tfl.nu/vwb7
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  Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....

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  (310): Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google.... http://tfl.nu/f2r9
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  I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.

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  (310): I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today. http://tfl.nu/yukz
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  If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?

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  (310): If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement? http://tfl.nu/kphp
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  thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing

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  (310): thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing http://tfl.nu/kma4
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