The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?