Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Can I color on your dick again?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.