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I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
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