everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"