Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other