she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro