I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".