I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.