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we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
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