I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x