I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday