I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?