We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.