Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
This is sufficient.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?