i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs