why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?