I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c