What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
there's paper in my vomit.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time