What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there's paper in my vomit.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it