You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward