On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...