She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks