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Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
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