I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper