Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony