He's been sleeping iwht ***
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm fucking your sister right now.