Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'