One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom