There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
This is sufficient.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .