There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
This is sufficient.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .