i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
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i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
a search helicopter?!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
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He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.