I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.