She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"