Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started