Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed