Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
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i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.