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I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
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