apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
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when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
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My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now