well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.