You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.