New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in