So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.