I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.