Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I wanna bring you to show and tell
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high