theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"