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Don't EVER smell your tampon
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
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