No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??