when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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