Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (831)

Last Night in California (831)

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I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?

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I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak

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(650): I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up? (831): I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak http://tfl.nu/xa8u

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i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.

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(831): i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse. http://tfl.nu/jxr4

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im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public

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(831): im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public http://tfl.nu/cxwk

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I won't be able to get a boner for a month

(916): View more from California

Challenge accepted.

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(831): I won't be able to get a boner for a month (916): Challenge accepted. http://tfl.nu/ivke

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I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.

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(831): I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger. http://tfl.nu/whys

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Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you

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He's CUTE. and foreign

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(415): Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you (831): He's CUTE. and foreign http://tfl.nu/untm

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I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.

(1-831): View more from California

stop. you already have a dog

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(831): I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company. (1-831): stop. you already have a dog http://tfl.nu/bxqv

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Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...

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(831): Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone... http://tfl.nu/6t56

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Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur

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(831): Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur http://tfl.nu/smm5

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I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.

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(831): I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible. http://tfl.nu/g067

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Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers

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(831): Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers http://tfl.nu/n6ua

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My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire

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(831): My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire http://tfl.nu/9w77

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Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.

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You did a keg stand on the toilet?!

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(408): Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying. (831): You did a keg stand on the toilet?! http://tfl.nu/1e43

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I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.

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(831): I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting. http://tfl.nu/2s6l

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we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?

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(831): we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana? http://tfl.nu/g0t3

Replies (10) Good night (619) Bad night (1170)

Last Night in California (831)

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