Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (814)

Last Night in Pennsylvania (814)

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.

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(814): We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad. http://tfl.nu/0kg4

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He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying

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(814): He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying http://tfl.nu/diyu

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All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.

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(814): All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles. http://tfl.nu/duc8

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dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high

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worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave

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nevermind....I'm on the way

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(814): dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high (808): worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave (814): nevermind....I'm on the way http://tfl.nu/dzeu

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What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."

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Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.

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No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.

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(814): What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners." (423): Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A. (814): No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay. http://tfl.nu/o5wb

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In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."

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(814): In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands." http://tfl.nu/l3oo

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dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.

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(814): dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out. http://tfl.nu/nbi4

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all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot

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(814): all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot http://tfl.nu/2zr0

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1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?

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(814): 1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame? http://tfl.nu/zg21

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Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends

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(814): Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends http://tfl.nu/5yet

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how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?

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(814): how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac? http://tfl.nu/67cg

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he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..

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(814): he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth.. http://tfl.nu/cpmo

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You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...

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(814): You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum... http://tfl.nu/p3s1

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Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.

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(814): Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader. http://tfl.nu/y8oj

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Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.

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(814): Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now. http://tfl.nu/xg11

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Last Night in Pennsylvania (814)

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