My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.